


Triple-A Rated

by iam93percentstardust



Series: Tumblr Prompts [12]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, In which Steve was not the original Captain America, M/M, No Iron Man, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, SHIELD Agent Steve Rogers, Tony makes off color comments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25451068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iam93percentstardust/pseuds/iam93percentstardust
Summary: Three assassination attempts in two weeks. That's gotta be some kind of record. Three attempts - and that doesn't even count the Ten Rings. Tony's pretty sure that Stane's trying to kill him again. Fury's pretty sure of the same thing, which is why he starts sending agents to protect him. It's just that Tony doesn't like any of his new bodyguards - except one.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Tumblr Prompts [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817254
Comments: 13
Kudos: 203





	Triple-A Rated

**Author's Note:**

> missmoodybear said:  
> For your prompt requests - SteveTony - Steve is Tony's bodyguard 💗
> 
> Fair warning, Tony is still a bit of an asshole in this one because I think it probably took him some time to become less of a jerk, even after Afghanistan.
> 
> Title is a reference to The Hitman's Bodyguard

It’s after the third assassin that Tony thinks something might be going on.

Kidnapping, assassination attempts, they’re all part and parcel of being a high profile, multi-billionaire who used to be the Army’s number one defense contractor. But he’s pretty sure that three attempts on his life in two weeks is a little high, even for someone like him who was named _People’s_ Most Eligible Kidnappee three years in a row. Stupid Bruce making stupid comments to stupid reporters about how many times he gets stupidly kidnapped.

“What does Bruce know?” he grumbles. “He lives in stupid Gotham.”

He glances down at the latest would-be killer, knocked out by DUM-E with his favorite fire extinguisher, and nudges him with the toe of his shoe. “You’re not dead, are you? Cause that’s a lot of paperwork to fill out if you are and I think we all know how I feel about that.”

The assassin groans and twitches.

DUM-E helpfully sprays him with the fire extinguisher again.

Tony snickers and calls for Happy to come grab the assassin and haul him off to jail probably. Now that he’s thinking about it, it’s probably good that Pepper isn’t his Head of Security. She’s not nearly as nice as Happy is.

“Come on, Hap, you’re falling down on the job here,” he chides as Happy throws the guy over his shoulder. “You’re supposed to be the Head of Security. You’re not doing much securiting—securitizing—”

“Securing,” Happy says. “And you transferred me to Miss Potts a month ago.”

“Oh yeah.” He pouts for a moment. “Why did I do that?”

“Because you were trying to draw out Mr. Stane.”

“Right,” he says, mood falling. He’d forgotten about Obie—Obadiah— _Stane_. Doesn’t know how, it’s not like Stane was arrested only two weeks ago or anything. “Come on, Tony,” he mutters. That two weeks is sticking out in his mind for some reason. Two…weeks…two weeks. “Pull your head out of your ass. J?”

“Sir?”

“Am I right in thinking that the first assassin was two weeks ago?”

“Exactly thirteen days.”

“Right. And Stane was arrested when?”

“Court records show he was arrested fifteen days ago.”

He nods to himself. Two days between Stane’s arrest and the first assassin showing up. He’d be willing to be that that’s enough time both for Stane to put out a hit on him and for word to get around.

“Put in a call to our favorite SHIELD director, would you, J?” he asks.

He doesn’t hear the phone ringing—JARVIS would never be as common as that—but it’s still a good thirty seconds before he hears Nick Fury demand, “How did you get this number?”

“So you remember when you arrested Stane and you said the Ten Rings might have only been the beginning?” he asks without bothering to introduce himself. There’s a reason his nametag at conferences says _You Know Who I Am_ instead of his actual name. Everyone knows who he is, especially the director of a major spy agency that Tony’s dad helped found.

Fury’s silent for a moment. “How many assassins?” he asks eventually.

This is why Tony likes him. No nonsense, no frills, just a straight-up question. “Three so far.”

“And I’ll bet more are on the way,” Fury says grimly. Tony doesn’t bother agreeing. They both know Fury’s right. “I’m sending an agent to you.”

“What? No, absolutely not,” he protests. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Clearly you do.”

“No,” he says stubbornly. “I’ll just send them back.”

“You do that. Send back as many agents as you like. And I’ll keep sending more until you stop. Hopefully, you won’t be dead by then.”

Tony scowls and hangs up.

* * *

He rejects the first agent just on principle. He refuses to have anyone who looks as boring as Agent Coulson does anywhere around him.

* * *

He rejects the second one after two days because he’s pretty sure she’s sending information about him back to Fury. He’s already had one gorgeous lady steal corporate secrets from him. He doesn’t need Natasha Romanoff doing the same thing almost fifteen years later.

* * *

He actually likes Agent Barton but Pepper takes one look at him and flatly says, “No.”

“Aww why not?” Clint whines.

“I have enough to deal with. I don’t need you encouraging Tony to blow up the house on top of it.”

Yeah, that’s probably fair.

* * *

The fourth one, unlike the other agents Fury has sent, is actually already in his house by the time Tony gets back after his dinner with Rhodey. “Security breach! That’s on you,” he says snidely to Pepper who’s standing beside the man, explaining the Jackson Pollock painting in front of them, the one that Tony thinks looks like a mess but Pepper is enthralled by.

“Tony!” Pepper says with that smile that tells him to behave. “This is Agent Rogers. SHIELD sent him.”

Tony glances at him and then narrows his eyes. He points at him with the stylus of the tablet he’d been using. “I know you. Why do I know you?” he asks.

Agent Rogers blushes—pretty blush, Tony notes absently—but valiantly says, “I was on the team that rescued you in Afghanistan.”

Oh yeah. Now he remembers that insane shoulder-to-waist ratio. “That’s right. You were the one with the shield.” And the one who had picked him back up after Yinsen had been hit but he doesn’t like to think about that. “The new Captain America.”

“That’s me,” Rogers agrees.

“Fury ever tell you Howard used to work with the last one? About broke his heart when he found the guy frozen to death.”

“ _Tony!_ ” Pepper snaps.

He winces. He swears he’s trying to be a better person, even if he doesn’t always succeed. “Sorry. That was insensitive, wasn’t it?”

Rogers opens his mouth but Pepper beats him to it. “ _Yes_ , it was.”

“Sorry,” he mutters again. “I’m trying.”

Pepper just glares at him but Rogers’ face softens. “Steve Rogers, sir,” he says, holding out his hand.

Tony glances at it and shoves his own into his pocket. “Yeah, I don’t like to be handed things.”

To his credit, Rogers doesn’t even hesitate, just says, “Alright then. Any questions for me?”

“Star Wars or Star Trek?” he says immediately.

“Well, they’re not really comparable, are they?” Rogers says without missing a beat. “Just because they both have ‘star’ in the name doesn’t mean they’re related to each other.”

“They’re both set in space,” Tony points out but inwardly he’s delighted. He would have accepted Star Trek as an answer but this is better than he could have hoped for.

Rogers doesn’t look impressed. “One of them is about science and exploration and the other is about imperialism and war. They’re not the same.”

Tony grins and tells Pepper, “I think we’re going to get along just fine.” He turns back to Rogers. “Tony Stark but everyone calls me Tony. Except for Pepper. She calls me ‘What did I do to deserve this?’”

Rogers laughs, a bright smile lighting up his gorgeous face. Tony tells himself that his heart doesn’t flutter but it resolutely does anyway, that traitor. “Steve Rogers but everyone calls me Steve. Except for my best friend. He calls me a punk.”

“Are you?”

“Absolutely. Doesn’t mean he’s gotta be a jerk about it.”

A slowly dawning look of horror is spreading across Pepper’s face and he thinks she might be realizing that Steve is probably gonna be even worse than Barton was. Too bad. She’s the one who sent him away.

“Steve,” Tony says. “Welcome to the team.”

“Pleasure to be working with you, Tony.”


End file.
